Wednesday, May 31, 2006


My new business plan.

In my discussions with some of my friends on their career and professional choices, one of the best comments came from a sports racer, not sure if it was his original though, The best business to be in, in this country are Sports, Bollywood and Politics for sure, but there is one thing that's on top of these three and that's religion.

Yes I said religion, one would ask business being a religion, why not just take a look around the country. I assume the maximum number of tourists that this country entertains are on religious or spiritual quest and the exoticism that the western writers have attached to the east certainly has a major role in it. Coming back to the business plan, Over a cup of evening coffee one of my friend and colleague decides he wants to be God or more rightly put a Godmen. Now the thoughts turn to finding a suitable business plan and I for once readily agree to play a second fiddle by being the marketing manager for the "Baba". Since baba's are supposed to be the one who renounce the world atleast in front of the general public, this job wasn't for me and that explains my choice.

We quickly narrowed down to our clientele which certainly would be the rich class, yeah we can manage to entertain the upper middle class too, but you know they don't brin in that kinda dough. The most important target audience would be the firangs though, you know the a dollar and pound is 45/80 times more than the rupee. Well before you might think we are all for money I should clarify this is the business of spiritual guidance for the mortal souls, wretched and other wise, who have undegorne the travesty of humanely life, troubled by inhuman acts of depraved souls. Now don't ask the meaning of all that, that's for the baba to explain.

The most important aspect has to be the baba, he has to be an attractive personality, generating positive vibes and able to bond people quickly. So our would be baba is a suave, young gentleman with military training and with the ability to bond with people. Recently some xyz devi came in his dream to inform that he is the chosen one and should alleviate the troubles of the miserly souls of this earth.

The only trouble is that our would be baba is going to UK for 6 months, yeah I know that was a certain party pooper, but this has come as even a bigger opportunity as our baba can start our right from the place where are clients reside that way they would save on traveling cost to India. Hope I move to UK soon, you know without good marketing managers like me the baba can never achieve great business or sorry I meant following.

So what say people, what do you think of the plan. All suggestions good or bad are welcome, kyun ki sab maya hai.

Friday, May 12, 2006


The relation between FUKAT and WCS revealed.....

This is the story of the souls troubled by the company named, Wife Computer Systems ltd(WCS).

So this starts in Feb 2004 when one "As If" Khan was having the time of his life in a college called GNK with his love "Sweet" Bhat. One fine afternoon, one Mr. "Nill" Warrier turns up in the college to give a presentation on what he termed as the recruitment drive for WCS. Although As If was highly apprehensive even of sitting for the presentation, finally he made the mistake of sitting for Nill's presentation. Mr. Nill laid a beautiful trap making big promises to the poor innocent souls who had no idea what was in store making a bold statement "We don't oblige you by giving you the job and you don't oblige by working for us". The simple clear of the word meant the company meant business and nothing more.

So on another fateful day, As If with his friends braved a severe pain and arrived at the venue for what was supposed to be a recruitment test. A crowd of around 2 thousand had gathered for the interviews out of which only 120 were supposed to be selected. There was a mad scramble with people standing in long queues, yelling, shouting jumping ahead of each other to give the test first. It very much seemed as if a crowd of beggars had gathered outside a temple for alms. As If decided he had too much self respect left to bear all this for a stupid job since he already had an offer letter from a BPO paying quite much more than WCS. But on persuasion of Sweet B. and other friends he persisted.In the mid of this mayhem they somehow managed to give a test which a stupid student of 10th Std could anytime clear. As If along with his GF got selected for the job which both of them were highly aprehensive of taking up but they did.

The day of 5th May is one day in life which As If would never forget, coz this was the day when he landed up for the first time in what was supposed to be the training room of WCS located in what was called as SDFVII or Sadu Dhakkan Factory. One can understand the pitiful management from the fact that the nearest toilets were 3 floors away, so if u r in hurry carry another set of clothes was the motto.

A group of 30-35 ppl or what was later termed as PPP's "Pagle Paltu Pille" had gathered in a room which had an AC which worked only at freezing temperature resulting in a sleepy audience. An old frail lanky man called Mutwani turned up with a dangerous looking madrasi lady called Bandra Remedy and informed that their session would start in sometime from now, some people tried to protest that they haven't informed home(poor little kids) But Mr Mutwani insisted that fill up forms that they won't leave the company for 3 years then only were they allowed to leave. Most of them signed the forms including As If and Sweet B. Poor souls little did they know that they were signing their death warrants by their own hands.

Since from here the story involves the other PPP's to I would like them to contribute their point of view.

Monday, May 08, 2006


Change of title.

So after putting in a lot of thought over the title of this blog, I realised that its a big mistake naming the title as "Fukat King" after all the participants and the viewers are not just limited to men. So I regret my mistake and take the immediate step of changing the title to "Fukat Arena".

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


The Competition is sizzling hotter than the Indian summer...

For all those who thought that the FUKAT competition is running out of steam are in for a surprise. Keeping with the great tradition of fukat giri, Zombie ZIOM comes out of his slumber and hits a big one with Kya Hoga Nimmo, Nemo Aur Mattu Ka , just missing a century on debut. I know saying this can break ziom's heart but dude, The chapter is too small and if you really harbour any wishes to displace mattu and kurt and win this competition atleast one more chapter is required.

Neverthless, the post is gr8 peice of work, establishing our reputation as the Biggest, Craziest and wildest FUKAT's on the Wild Web.

I wonder what CTC and Sneh are upto, would they? wouldn't they? come up with something to remain in the reckoning. To use the old cliche' only time would tell. Mean while CTC's blog these days looks more like the one run by Kurt the dirt instead of he himself.

Yours truly would keep you updated on all the happenings on the FUKAT world CIO.

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